Nothing. (Staying home after maternity leave.)

What did you do today? "Nothing. Just stayed home."

It's easier to say, especially when society paints a picture that stay at home mums are lazy, sit on the sofa dossing all day and live a life of luxury that's paid for them. I worked for 8 years previous to being a Mum and almost 3 years part time whilst being a Mum. Me and my fiance have worked hard for what we have. For our house, cars - our family ♡ He works hard and whilst he doesn't earn a loads, we decided, to us it was more important that I was home with the girls - even if that made it a little tight and we had to change our priorities with money. I have the upmost respect to both stay at home mums and working mums. It's hard and no matter what you do - you feel judged. Just do what you need to do for you and your family. I'm lucky to have the support of my girls Dad both emotionally and physically around the house and we are so excited when we wake on a Saturday morning and Daddy is still home with us.

But what society cant see..

I was up all night, feeding the baby every hour and a half. Then up at dawn, to the toddler trying to make me laugh.

I went for a wee with an audience, didn't have time to brush my hair. Then I juggled a teddy, puzzle and the baby down, but left the washing pile upstairs.

I made breakfast, then, picked it all up off the floor.

Then I opened the curtains and picked the breakfast up once more.

I boiled the kettle hoping for some tea. No milk left - oh I wish someone could pop to the shop for me.

I danced , I sang, played hop little bunnies 27 times.

Then I spoke about hop and stop and how sometimes, some words rhyme. We paint and create, all day we have so much fun! Quick, then it's time to change the little ones bum.

To the park we go, with a scooter and a doll.

What a beautiful day it is to take a nice stroll.

I'm as lucky as can be, staying home with my babies.

It's all I've ever wanted even if it drives me crazy.

I feel lonely, time to text my friends. The postman knocks and nap time ends. Shes on my hip for the rest of the day. I remember that wash, then put the clean clothes away.

Tidy up, just to make more mess. Then remind myself that I am blessed.

The words 'I dont work' are hard to say.

They think I sit on my bum all day.

"Mama, mummy". For the billionth time. " I've done a poo, she's trying to climb." "Mama, mummy." I need some space. Shes tugging my leg, shes stroking my face.

I go toilet, 2 minutes to hide. Sometimes just sit there and cry. I love staying home with them all day. But it's still alright not to be okay.

I haven't spoke to an adult yet,

but I've pretended for an hour that I'm a pet. No money, I chose not to return to my job. But this is much harder, and I feel like a slob.

I love bringing up my babies, we have the best days. One day when they're grown, I'll miss this phase. So when I chat your head off as you walk in the door, or pass you the baby the second your bag hits the floor. I know how hard you work, appreciate every single thing. But I've missed you today, while I've been doing nothing.

♡♡♡